(1848)
There was once a fine gentleman who possessed among other things a
boot-Jean and a hair-brush; but he had also the finest shirt-collar in the
world, and of this collar we are about to hear a story. The collar had become
so old that he began to think about getting married; and one day he
happened to find himself in the same washing-tub as a garter. “Upon my
word,” said the shirt-collar, “I have never seen anything so slim and
delicate, so neat and soft before. May I venture to ask your name?”
“I shall not tell you,” replied the garter.
“Where do you reside when you are at home?” asked the shirt-collar. But
the garter was naturally shy, and did not know how to answer such a
question.
“I presume you are a girdle,” said the shirt-collar, “a sort of under girdle.
I see that you are useful, as well as ornamental, my little lady.”
“You must not speak to me,” said the garter; “I do not think I have given
you any encouragement to do so.”
“Oh, when any one is as beautiful as you are,” said the shirt-collar, “is not
that encouragement enough?”
“Get away; don’t come so near me,” said the garter, “you appear to me
quite like a man.”
“I am a fine gentleman certainly,” said the shirt-collar, “I possess a boot-
Jean and a hair-brush.” This was not true, for these things belonged to his
master; but he was a boaster.
“Don’t come so near me,” said the garter; “I am not accustomed to it.”
“Affectation!” said the shirt-collar.
