that was at the same time a sense of her dependence on Chiba. Looking at
her, he saw that the blood had drained from her face.
“I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Let’s walk a little,” said Chiba, leading Takako away from both their
homes. She nodded. She was filled with a mysterious joy, as if she had
already confessed everything to him.
But she didn’t know how to start.
“Why did you? . . .”
“Why did it happen, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Because I’m a bad woman. I think it must have happened because I’ve
been in love with another man for a long time.”
“By another man, you mean the man I saw earlier?
“No, I mean another man. . .” Takako whispered, her chest trembling.
“Hirata doesn’t trust me—but the man he suspects is another man”
She heard herself speaking like a shameful woman plotting, yet the
words made her happy.
“Does Mr. Hirata know?” asked Chiba, seeming genuinely concerned.
“Women are frightening—I really do believe that.
I regret the affair so much I could die, and I’ve broken up with him, but
once you make a mistake of that kind it’s like a second self forms within
you, and then you start liking the other person even more. It’s frightening.”
Chiba looked down at Takako again, a quizzical expression on his face.
His blinked his black eyes two or three times.
‘‘I’m really no good, am I? I only look obedient,” Takako said. Then for
a time she looked down at her own shoes and at Chiba’s, which moved
