were other men who hated the idea of going to war—who hit on the idea of
becoming women—not everyone can do it.”
“Yes, that’s true. If they aren’t pretty like _ _ »» you....
“It isn’t only a matter of being pretty or ugly— there has to be a woman
inside one. ... I think that there was a girl inside me. If there hadn’t been a
war that girl would probably have stayed clamped down inside, but we had
a war and thanks to it she was able to push out into the world. I was told
once after my transformation that there was a young woman who looked
like me. Al sorts of things happened to me during the period when I was a
woman, but it’s hard for me to talk about them so openly.” Uryu stood and
turned on the lights. The garden, too, had grown dusky.
“The sun must have gone down already,” I said. “Kishiyama used to say
that the sunset was beautiful here—have you seen it?”
“I don’t look,” Uryu answered abruptly. “Had you been planning to see
the sunset? I’m afraid I’ve kept you. ... I hope you’ll see it tomorrow.”
“No, I’m leaving tomorrow morning. . . .”
“So soon? . . .” Uryu said, moving his black eyes. “Would you mind
listening to me talk about the time I spent as a woman?”
“No, I’d like to,” I said, nodding. “I only came here because I knew that
Kishiyama used to come.” Uryu nodded too.
“The panpan is supposed to come around eight thirty, and I guess she’ll
leave around ten. Perhaps we could go for a walk on the beach afterward
and I could tell you then—though I suppose you’ll be leaving early
tomorrow morning, won’t you?” His inflection was feminine and somewhat
pouty. I thought at fi.rst that he was embarrassed at mentioning the waitress
who supported him, but that didn’t really seem to be the case.
“My transformation into a woman was something I had planned out—
even in high school I let my hair grow down to my shoulders, though
