All I remember
One day, while I was sitting in a quiet room waiting for an
appointment, a wave of longing swept over me. I checked
to make sure I was awake and not dreaming, and I saw that
I was as far removed from a dreamy state as one could
possibly be. Each thought I had was like a drop of water
disturbing a still pond, and I marveled at the peacefulness of each passing
moment.
Suddenly my mother's face appeared - my mother, as she had been before
Alzheimer's disease had stripped her of her mind, her humanity, and 50
pounds. Her magnificent silver hair crowned her sweet face. She was so real
and so close I felt I could reach out and touch her. I even smelled the
fragrance of Joy, her favorite perfume. She seemed to be waiting and did not
speak.
I said, "Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry that you had to suffer with that horrible
disease.”
She tipped her head slightly to one side, as though to acknowledge what I
had said about her suffering. Then she smiled - a beautiful smile - and said
very distinctly, "But all I remember is love." And she disappeared.
I began to shiver in a room gone suddenly cold, and I knew in my bones that
the love we give and receive is all that matters and is all that is remembered.
Suffering disappears; love remains.
Her words are the most valuable I have ever heard, and that moment is
forever engraved on my heart.
- Bobbie Probstein
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